just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize