WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Boobs are out for the taking
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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