So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
