there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize
