I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Randomize
