Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Randomize