we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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