I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize