Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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