So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
