when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
