All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
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i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I'm too high and old for this...
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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