fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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