There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
