You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my god I love twenty year old dicks
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
