so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My legs feel like baby dolphins
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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