Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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