Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
