Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
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And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
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I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize