I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Randomize
