I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize