Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
