just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
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so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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