we're blogging at a bar
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
