half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize