Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
