God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
