Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
