she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize