FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Randomize
