i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
