i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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