Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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