It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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