GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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