i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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