I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
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it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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