if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Randomize