apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Terrible idea I love it
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
