Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
