I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
