She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
