Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
