im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
