So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize