Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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