I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
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