hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
