i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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