How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
