Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize