There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
