The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
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