Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
